November 2009, I was 17 and was working at a local Pizza place about 5 minutes away from my house. I had been working there for a year and a half and a new guy, who's name I will not mention but rather call him "G," was hired. He was extremely cute, charming, and at the time he seemed like he had a personality that matched mine, but he was 4 years older than me. I flirted with him like crazy, not caring much of the age difference, at work and I eventually got his e-mail address. That night we were up all night e-mailing back and forth and we decided to take a walk by a creek by his apartment on a Sunday.
Sunday came and we went on our walk and it was romantic and there was definitely chemistry there. We walked back to his apartment, which was trashed, and we listened to music and he tickled me. After about 2 hours my mom called me and asked when I was coming home. I told her that I would be home in 45 minutes. After I got off the phone with my Mom he pulled me into him and kissed me so hard that I lost my breath, I knew at that moment that I was in love and things progressed; we would hangout practically everyday and he was all I could talk about.
January 1, 2010, was the start of the scariest time of my life. I was over at his apartment and he asked me if we could have sex, mind you I was still 17 and a minor to him. I was a good christian girl, I had taken a vow of purity and had no intention of breaking that. He had been talking about it for a couple months but I figured he'd wait for me, after all he said he loved me. When I walked into his apartment on January 1st he had rearranged furniture and had put a bed in a special place with a curtain around it and mood lights in it. We sat on down on his bed and started making out. He was on top of me and was thrusting himself up and down on my body. He stopped kissing me and pulled back to see my face. He asked me if we could have sex tonight because it was a special night and it'd be a great start to the year together. At this point I was scared and shaking, I didn't want to have sex yet, I was 17 and I wasn't ready. He continued to pressure me and then he moved his hands down to my pants. He unbuttoned my pants and pulled them and my underwear down, he then took my shirt and bra off. G then left the room to get a condom and I layed there frozen, crying, and scared out of my mind. He came back and massaged my legs so that they could relax enough for him to get in. I was crying and he didn't care, inside my mind I was screaming for help and for him to stop! G had finished and left the room and I was laying there sit frozen, speechless, and crying. I finally came to my senses and quickly got dressed before he came back in. I curled up in a ball and layed back down. G came back in and played some video games and pulled out started to smoke some marajuana, something that I didn't know he did. I left after he had smoked a bowl and I lied to him and told him that he had satisfied me too.
After that night things weren't the same between us. He started to treat me badly at work and was always yelling at me. I went home crying from work almost every night and I had filed several reports with my manager about him. In February he was promoted to night-time manager, which meant he was now my manager! Every night I had to work I hated and if we had had a fight the night before I called off work. No one at work knew we were together, it was a rule in our work place not to date anyone you work with or you get fired.
One night after working with him I ended things with him. He had pushed me too far and I the feelings I had for him were gone. The next day I had to work with him he got physically abusive, he pushed me into the sink at work and I had a bruise the size of a football on my hip. I took him back after that because he treated me and said it would only get worse and that I was only 10 minutes away from him. I was scared for my life and went back to him, I was 18 now so it was a whole different playing field.
The next time I went to his apartment he pushed me into a wall and started kissing me harder than ever. He dragged me into his bedroom and took off all my clothes. G already had the condom on and he then took my hands and tied them to his bed posts. He started and this time it was rough and hurt me more than ever. He put his hands around my neck and started to strangle me, to the point I couldn't breath. He took his hands off my neck and put one over my mouth so I couldn't scream, he then continued until he finished. The whole time I was screaming but nothing could come out loud enough for anyone to hear. He got off of me and I quickly dressed and ran out.
You'd think that any person in their right mind would have reported him or ended it, but I was scared for my life and he treated to kill me several times. I stayed with him and continued to go over. Only I let him do it now. I would just lay there, it was so mechanical and there was no emotion involved at all. One time a week later i was supposed to start my period and it never came. Shear terror ran through my body. I went to walmart with my best friend and got a pregnancy test and took it. It came back negative but I knew they weren't always effective. 3 weeks later my period still hadn't showed up, so I went and bought my second test it came back negative as well. A week later my period finally came and I can honestly say I'd never been happier to see it.
I prayed daily for the day he would let me go and be free. I was a sex slave to him and that was it. What used to be love and happiness and quickly turned to terror and hate.
July 2010 he revealed to me that he had cheated on me before we had even had sex. So he pushed me into loosing my virginity when he had had sex a week before. I specifically remember him saying the first time we had sex that he hadn't had sex in 2 years, but really he had done it a week before. I was so angry and upset. I quit my job and ended things with him.
He let me go for a little but then started to stalk me. I went to get my haircut one day and as soon as I sat down in my car to go home he said I don't like you're new haircut. I went to walmart and bought some stuff for college and when I was driving home he sent me a text that said: "I see you're doing your dorm in purple and pink." Texts like this continued to come daily. I moved into my dorm at college an hour away from home and was happy to be far away from him. Within the first week of being there, he showed up on campus, I, luckily, was not on campus at the time. The second time he showed up on campus, though, I was. I went out to see him and to yell at him. His words to me were "Do you want me to rape you in my car or in your dorm?" I lied to him and told him I was on my period and that unless he wanted blood all over him he would leave me alone. he backed off and I ran back into my dorm and grabbed my rape stick. After I had talked to my RA for 2 hours I decided that the next time he called I would warn him not to come on campus ever again. 3 days later he called and I screamed at him and told him that if he shows up on campus again I will call security and have him removed and banned from campus and that I would expose him for the trash he was and have him arrested. He hung-up on me and then sent me a text that said "fine f*** you too" I didn't respond and was happy things were over.
I'm currently a freshman in college and it's been 3 weeks without hearing from him. I know that isn't a very long time but I haven't been this happy in a long time. The bruises are gone but the scars are still there. I can't trust guys at all right now, but I'm definitely getting better everyday I'm around all my amazing friends!
I would like to tell girls in general to always be honest with your boyfriend about sex and DON'T EVER let him pressure you to do it before you're ready. It's the biggest regret of my life and I can't take it back. To the girls that are in the same place I was, DO NOT stay with him. Get a restraining order or cut him out of your life, just get help! Do not put yourself through what I had to go through. I'm scarred forever and I will never forget the last 9 months of my life.