FOUR KEY WARNING SIGNS OF A BREAKUP

The pain of a breakup is something most of us have experienced more than once in our life. But thankfully, sometimes all it takes for us to avoid this heartbreak is to know which warning signs to look for. In this article, instead of teaching you how to get over a break up, I’m going to show you how to avoid one altogether.

Without fail, signs of an impeding breakup will be there long before your partner actively attempts to end the relationship. Understanding what signals to look for can make the difference between having ample time to address your problems, and having to watch your lover walk out the door forever.

While there are a number of indicators that the relationship is in trouble, we’re going to focus on four key warning signs which indicate that a breakup is in your near future.

Warning Sign #1: Distancing Behavior

If you notice that your partner starts pulling away from you either physically or emotionally, this should be addressed sooner rather than later.

“Physical distancing” is when you spend less time with your partner doing the things that you would normally do in a long term relationship such as walking the dog together or the regular weekend trip to the park. Keep in mind, that sometimes a lifestyle change (such as a new work schedule) might be to blame so this sign must be looked at in the proper context.

The more accurate indicator of the two is “emotional distancing.” Have your daily conversations become uninteresting and result in simple “yes” or “no” answers? Has the affection he gives you been lacking in substance? Eventually, his cold and unresponsive behavior may drastically increase as your connection slips away.

The best way to uncover the truth is to compare your partner’s current behavior with their past behavior and go with your gut instinct. If you pay close attention, it is very easy to notice when the flames of desire and connection start to fizzle out.

Warning Sign #2: A new group of friends comes into the picture

Any time a new group of friends comes into the picture, you should start to pay attention to your partner’s behaviors. Friends have the ability to massively influence our thinking and if your partner has been hanging out with a new set of drinking buddies who like to keep him out until the wee hours of the morning, you can bet that many problems with result over time. This is especially likely to happen if the two of you are used to spending the weekends together but you now have to deal with him blowing you off to be with his new friends.

Hopefully, his new crew is a bunch of stable, hardworking family-oriented men who just need to blow off some steam with the boys once in a while. But if after investigating, you discover that the boys are engaged in heavy partying, gambling and other “sketchy” activities, you might want to put the kabosh on their weekend events before your partner begins to fully embrace this destructive lifestyle.

Warning Sign #3: There is a noticeable change in the frequency of your arguments

Relationships are not perfect and it is inevitable that arguments will occur. However, if you notice that your partner has been blowing up over tiny things as of late and doing his best to pick petty fights with you, you should call him out on his behavior and get to the bottom of this immediately. If he is upset over a particular incident from the past, then it will usually come out quickly and the two of you can resolve it. But if he can’t give you a reason for his new attitude and purposely avoids all attempts at resolution, it’s a good sign that he is looking for a way out of the relationship.

The exact opposite of this behavior can also be huge warning sign, as well. If your partner has stopped getting upset over the things that have typically bothered him in the past, he may have started to minimize his emotional investment in the relationship to make it easier for him to walk away.

Warning Sign #4: You notice a dramatic change in your bedroom activities

The particulars of your sex life can serve as a good indicator of relationship problems. If the frequency of your bedroom activities, for instance, has tapered off dramatically, either because your partner has stopped initiating sex or has been disinterested in your advances, you are looking at another (very serious) form of emotional distancing. At this stage, there’s a very good chance that he has another woman on the side, or at the very least, is contemplating moving things forward with someone new.

Now that you’re aware of these four warning signs, you are one step closer to keeping your relationship safe and secure. It’s a good idea to not only look for these signs in your own relationship, but to see if you can spot any of these signs rearing their ugly heads in your friends’ relationships, as well. The more closely you examine the problems and issues that other couples are experiencing, the better you will be at spotting your own. Good luck.

-Jay Cataldo

Jay Cataldo is a well-respected life coach and relationship expert who resides in NYC and coaches clients all over the world (via webcam). After authoring a highly acclaimed relationship book, Jay decided to create a resource for women which gives them the advice and support they need to be successful in all areas of their lives. This multi-faceted resource is: Definitive Diva – The Destination for the Modern Woman. Come chat with Jay on the Diva forum.