As I was drying my hair, my brain started to work. (scary!!) I was thinking about a few comments that I had heard from guys here and there regarding, "Why Pretty Girls Cry". Of course I had to question them in order to get them to reveal their thoughts on the subject. I asked them a simple question- "Do you think that women that are pretty dislike other pretty women?" Hmmm, I received a lot of answers immediately, without any thought, seemingly. The answer that was the most popular was.."NO!!" I know so many women that are beautiful and the last thing that they would think about themselves, is exactly that. They cannot see what we see in them at all. They think every other women in the world has more to offer.
My next question was, do you think that women constantly compare themselves to other woman? This question took no time at all for them to answer. "Yes and no, They think that we (men) are comparing them to other women. And that's what gets them all weird". Additionally, "They think that we are lusting after them in our minds or wondering what they would look like naked. They compare themselves with other women, yes, but in more of a way to improve themselves for us. My girlfriend compares herself with women that do not even come close to her on a any scale and still finds reason to knock herself down".
Hmmm, I seem to be saying that a few times, but it's because women are so generalized. If one women is one way with one guy, he thinks all women are like that. When women generalize men, they call us male bashers, or feminists. What do we call guys that generalize us from their past experiences?
So whats up with the fact that pretty girls really do not look at themselves as pretty girls? Is it something from their past?. (seems like the age old excuse for everything)
I, myself remember a guy asking me that exact question. "Why do all the pretty girls think they are ugly?". I shrugged. I really had no answer. I never put myself on that level, of being pretty that is.
In all the research that I have been doing on this subject, I will tell you this, `beauty is in the eyes of the beholder`, nothing more, nothing less. If we look in the mirror and see no beauty, that is in our minds only. Not in our partners minds or a strangers mind. We are constantly supported by our spouses and we constantly mistrust their comments. Why? When are we going to start to see ourselves as a beautiful being? A UNIQUE being. A one and only being.
Ladies when you cross paths with another that you feel is way above you, for whatever reason, shoes, hair, dress, body, or just her smile, think this; she is also looking at you and seeing something in you that she lacks and would love to have.
Also, it's part of us, built into us, and born with it in our brain to compare.
Some will look for weakness or flaws in others just to make themselves feel good. That is a negative comparison. It is not a bad thing to want to be a better person. We just have to be very careful to not take it to an extreme that blinds others to our thoughts and intentions.
Men tend to automatically call us jealous when we reveal our thoughts, if another women is involved. Another mystery in my mind; Jeesh, we are not always that worried, OK. So get off your ego trip guys. Sometimes we are genuinely curious as to why we see and feel the vibes we get from you. Also as you read earlier, just maybe, we care and we want to improve ourselves. Maybe men should try and do that sometime. Then they will actually see where we are coming from.
Another thing I have noticed is that men are very good at making us believe that we are doing what they say. Why is that? Is it to win an argument and feel totally in control of our thoughts or is it that they themselves feel vulnerable at times and less than perfect to us. Men have told me that they do not look at other men and wish they were like them. Well duh! Would that not make them female? Why does everyone try so hard to give excuses to genders?. Why can't we just accept and appreciate each other for our differences? Why do we have to be so damn equal on everything?
Females are soft, sensual, sensitive, emotional, passionate, intelligent creatures. That's us, and we are tired of apologizing for how we were born. We work overtime trying to understand our male counterparts. We are what makes them tick. They are what make us tick. We want nothing more than to be their everything. What is so wrong with that? Men are strong, protective, sexual, and feeling beings.
Men and women together make a very nice song.
These are just my thoughts as you all know, so take them with a grain of salt. Has society totally confused what real people are all about, to the point that some do not even know they are pretty? That is a sad thought. Some may think that I have nothing good to say. Well I actually have a lot of good to say. I wish that life was a perfect world. It is not even close. My thoughts tend to deal with the real world and it is not all that great for some. One can not go up until they have gone all the way down.
We are all pretty in some ways. People think way to much about the outer physical appearance and I wish that I could meet the first person that started that negative seed. When did things get so out of proportion?
There are too many worries and too many unhappy women out there. If I can at least help one woman see how pretty she is, then my course is set. Ladies we are all a gift, one that is truly cherished by our loved ones. Never let that go neglected. Remember, you choose your thoughts. You are the pretty girl that your man wants, desires, and will spend the rest of his life with. It's who we are that makes us the perfect woman. Not just what we look like, because we are not always going to look the same. Everyone grows older and everyone changes their outward appearance. What does stay the same, is who we are inside. Our REAL person is what it's all about. I will end with this thought:
ONE ALWAYS THINKS OTHERS ARE HAPPIER!
Posted by An Admirer:
I look forward to your articles every day. They are a true honesty and I can feel you through your words. You have opened my mind alot since I have started to follow your blogs. Thank you.
Yes.. there is now a donation button in several spots around the selfesteem forum and the website.
This was not my idea...it actually came from a few of the self-esteem members as they understand the amount of time and monies that it takes to bring all of the information and self-esteem support to these pages for all of you.
The donation is set at its minimum of $1.00.
So ...do feel free to support womensselfesteem.com so that we can continue to support you!
Thank you so much in advance!