Abuse / Survival Stories > Tips and suggestions on how someone can leave an abusive relationship.


Tips on leaving abusive relationships



Leaving an abusive relationship can be hard. It is not as easy as one thinks. Once you are in an abusive relationship it is like a trap that has no open ends to it. However, after being in the field of Psychology and meeting several clients going through the same, I thought I could perhaps write something about it.

One other thing before I start, abusive relationship is a broader subject, it could be a marriage, a teen relationship or an adult relationship. The information given below is just the general information on some of the things you can do to be leaving from an abusive relationship.

My Personal obligation to follow these tips would be if you are married and living with an abusive relationship.

I would not read this piece of article if you were married. Since I have some strong religious values and ethics and perhaps would deal it in a different way.


First step would be meeting a Confidant

You might know someone who you trusts, could be close to you or could be some one who you have known in years and maintain a professional relationship. The first fact should be, who ever is your confidant make sure that he does not know or have any ties with a person you are in relationship with. It can cause a great damage if you have trusts a confidant who probably knows your relationship status.


Personal belongings

Most of abusive relationships have greater ties with personal belongings. This could either mean money or apartment or something that has placed you both together in this relationship. Often with the abusive relationship these things become a matter of subject. If none of the above mentioned are reasons to your ties in a relationship than the answer is simple, if not than read the following paragraph.


Seek an attorney or take legal advice

Take your confidant to meet up with an attorney in case of money matters or apartment matters. It is important to take legal advice. What are the pro's and con's if you decide to leave and have a partnership in a bank account or you have bought the house together but it is under your name? These are important questions to consider and so it is advisable to take legal help or sort legal advice to help you make a smoother transition of leaving this relationship.


Pack your belongings

Without telling your partner, seek the help of the confidant to help you pack up your belongings in the absence of your partner. There should be no indication shown to give away your intentions of leaving. There was one case, when the partner almost committed a murder because they did not wanted the victim partner to leave. It is a matter of security for the abusive partner too and in no way they want to let go of it. So carelessness is out of question in this matter, one has to be wise and smoothly leave the place. You can leave a letter, but make sure that you do not sign the letter or else you never know it could be a written confirmation and might end up in some other case.


Leave the town if Possible

If it is possible than it would be easier to leave the town. You might want to leave with some of your friend for few days to get a secure feeling or have some one to help you through. In this case, Confidant would be a right person but it depends on the relationship you share with your Confidant.


Transitioning into not being in a abusive relationship

This will be hard for you. You will have to persevere through the hard time. In this case, it is helpful to talk to some one you trusts or if you are a student go and meet up with your school counselor. You will be depressed for first few months, but the counselor or your helper might take you through the steps of helping you fit in back in to the normal schedule of time. This isn't going to be easy so bear that in mind. There will be times when you might want to go back to the same person, due to various reasons. People do that, but remember the reasons in the first place you left the abusive relationship.


General tips to help you through with the depression:

1. Try Exercising (Yoga or some kind of positive meditation)

2. Find a Job

3. If you are a student, try and refresh your mind by studying and saying positive things to yourself.

4. Hang out with your friends who you trusts

5. Find some thing to do which really excites you and makes you happy

6. Try something new in life

7. Stay away from relationship for a while

8. Recite positive attributes about yourself

9. Volunteer an organization


**These are just general tips that are given to people who have left abusive relationships.

Stuti Wankhede

Stuti Wankhede

 

 

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