I suffered physical and sexual abuse throughout my childhood. To the outside world they saw a child who was well cared for and clean. Inside the house was so different, although the surfaces gleamed with polish and the food was on the table, he caused a terror which haunted for years.
I did not even realise that what was happening was wrong until we started sex education lessons at school. Then I understood why I had to keep it a secret.
I only felt safe when I slept at my grandparents. When I was young my father would collect me from my grandparents house when he had finished work. He would start to wrestle in fun with me, it was never long before the blows became painful and really hard. He would not stop. Saturday nights were called "two headed llama nights" he would put a blanket over us on the sofa. I would have my head at one end and his at the other. Whilst the blanket was over us, he would pass sweets under the blanket whilst doing other things with his hands.
My childhood impacted on my life for so many years.
I suffered a nervous breakdown.
Then I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis
My mother and father both committed suicide within five years of each other.
I suffered with anorexia because of all the trauma.
2004 saw a turning point where I was accepted as a member of the Accademy of High Achievers. I found life was changing for the better. People were coming from everywhere to help. I have many people to thank.
I now know people can survive abuse and life can become good. There is hope for anyone. If you reach out people listen and are prepared to help I managed to write my autobiography, called "Cut The Strings".
Sir Chris Bonington wrote the foreward for me. It is available for anyone who has suffered from any of the above to show life can be good and worth living. There is hope. There is an end to suffering and a start to living.
Comment: Lynn describes the 'unfolding' of the victim's knowledge which is rarely discussed in abuse issues, but so important to understand the vast trauma child abuse survivors encounter. It surprises many people that it can take years for the victim to come to terms with the injury, but that's because it takes years for a child to cognitively develop. During this time, the child's understanding of every form of stimuli changes though the covert abuse issue changes into a righteous anger which will demand to be expressed. There are no bandaid solutions for the victims, that is immediate resolve, which makes her book on recovery a tremendous contribution to victims and their families. Many thanks to Lynn for helping the seriously wounded victims of child sexual abuse recover their dignity.
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