Can't Let Go- I have come from a past abusive relationship that lasted off and on for about three years. Great at the beginning, so I thought, but slowly I started realizing that he was manipulating and deceitful.
He worked my self-esteem to the point I didn't even know who I was or what to beleive anymore. I certainly didn't like myself at all by the time he got done with me. He would build me up then take me down. He would lie, he would mentally and physically abuse me. He was really good at lieing to the point where he even beleived his own lies and was a womenizer and cheat whenever he got the chance.
It was a game for him to see what women he could conquer next. He even had me convinced that it was all in my head and that I pushed him into cheating. It was hell but I finally got the courage to leave him. Started counciling and got my life back together.
I didn't date anyone seriously for about four years, and was happy just taking care of myself and my two kids.
Two years ago I fell in love with a great guy we have just recently got married but my past keeps popping up and I find on occassions I get jealous and I can't control my thoughts to going back. That he too is doing these horrible things behind my back like I had done to me in the past. It getting better after we both went to counciling.
My largest hurdle is when I see him stareing at other beatiful women an dwhen I bring it up he of course denies it. But he does like to look like every other man. But I know it's harmless but why? I am an attractive 46 year old women, with a great job good sense of humor, love sex and am fun to be with. I just don't get it. How do I just except this so I can be truely happy with the man I Love.
Loraina
