We all know or have known someone that has suffered abuse in one form or another. That makes us all great hind site resources and supporters for those victims that are stuck within the walls of abuse right now.

So many women are being abused either at home by partners and even their own children.

The work place is another trap for abuse victims...they say nothing out of fear of losing their jobs and for many of those women they are soul supporter of their child/children.

Abuse is one of the most silent & controlling human issues that women  are being faced with today. After all of the years of studies, information, shelters, even laws...abuse is still running rapid and continues its control & silence of so many women.

We ask ourselves.....

Can Abuse be Stopped?

Why do people abuse?

Why do they abuse people they claim to love and need?

Why do they not understand that they are hurting someone?

Who ever gave them the idea that they can abuse another?

Why can we not stop this abuse issue?

These answers to these questions are still a mystery. Therapists and doctors are constantly relabeling abusers and their actions. The courts are constantly being flooded with abuse cases.

Why is there no end in sight where abuse is concerned?

Abusers come in all shapes and sizes.

They come from all types of homes and upbringings.

They may or may not be monstrous in appearance, some are not even obvious at first glance.

They can be handsome, sexy, kind, sweet, and very tricky!

They come up with all types of reasons for their negative actions.

They act as if they are the innocent one.

They are perfectionists at everything they do.

They feed on control and to get that control they will either use mental cruelty or physical strength.

They seriously are a wolf in sheep's clothing.

The only way we will ever be able to win this battle is by being better equipped with awareness and better prepared with a strong self-respect. Hind site is also one of the most protective shields.

If we have awareness & self-respect...we would never bow down to anyones abuse.

If we have better foresight in knowing and identifying the red flags of an abuser, there will be no blind sides left for an abuser to attack.

There for we can stop Abuse before it gets started or out of control!

Every abuser has to start somewhere...a name calling, a shout, a slander, a violent outburst, a physical tantrum, a lie ect....it does start somewhere.

We must learn how to stop it at its first step...we must learn to identify an abusers very first red flag. Do I sound extreme...guess what, I am extreme about this issue.

Any victim that is reading my thoughts right now know exactly what I am talking about. You can probably go back and pick out every signal that would have detoured you then, had you been more aware of the red flags and had a stronger self-respect for yourself..

As a human being we are educated to know when to cross a street, when to blow out a match, when to take an aspirin, when to lock our doors, ect...we must begin to educate ourselves equally on our own personal protection.

Our personal protection is about our self-respect and not allowing anyone to diminish it or even threaten it.

Awareness is like turning on a light BEFORE you enter a dark room.

These two facts are imperative in learning and teaching if we are ever going to beat this battle of abuse!

For those of us who, for whatever reason suffer from lack of self-respect .....you can learn how to regain it....there is so much information out there and people willing to support you that you have no reason to not have self-respect.

Consider your breathe...if someone were to try and take that away from you....would you not fight with everything in your power to save it?

Well your self-respect is just as vital to your survival as the air you are breathing right this second.

Your self-esteem is also equivalent to the air you are breathing right now. Again you must fight to strengthen it if it has been weakened. With a strong self-esteem your self-respect will beat any abuser at his/her own game.

As I mentioned earlier in this article, an abuser has to start somewhere...abuse does not just appear in full force. You can stop it before it is too late or you are dead.

If you think I am joking about being dead...think again. An abuser will not stop when their need to control is being threatened. If you wait until the abuser has reached that point your chances of survival will be slight.

If you are a victim and you are reading this, you know exactly what I mean. You are in this position now and you can barely breathe for fear of your life.

If you are at this point, you must get up and leave this minute...say nothing to no one...just go. Find a shelter, find support, just leave and do not talk to that abuser again until you have regained your self-respect and you do not feel threatened.

Stop enabling this abuse right now.

If you are reading this article and are saying that will never happen to you...be very sure that you understand what you are thinking.

When ones heart is involved, it is amazing how blind our protective senses become.

I beg you to stop and think before you walk into that darkroom.


Awareness of an abusers red flags, a strong, healthy self-esteem and self-respect are all vital to avoiding an abusive relationship!

Fight ABUSE in any way that you can!


It can save a life, maybe even two!


We have all been gifted with the same right, that being, the right to live a happy life!


Please stay aware and stay strong!

**********

Stories of other abuse victims are available on my website here:

http://www.womensselfesteem.com/abuseandsurvival.html


A form for your own abuse/survival story is here:

http://www.womensselfesteem.com/submitstory.html



Thank You!

~D~