Have you ever found yourself looking for your wallet or purse and all of a sudden this grip takes hold of your stomach and the immediate feeling of panic begins to grow inside of you?
You fumble trying to come up with an excuse to the clerk at the medical office that you cannot pay for your appointment because you may have left your wallet at home or worse, it has been taken.....all the while praying to God that it is at home.
You search and search high and low all the while fighting the reality that your entire identity is at risk and you cannot do a damn thing about it. You know even while you are repeatedly searching ground that clearly proves your wallet will not be found that easily ...that it has been taken!
Have you ever had your wallet or purse stolen?
My worst fears became a reality when I realized after tearing my house and car apart that my wallet was definitely gone. It became even more evident and traumatic once I called the first credit card company and was told that there was a gas purchase at midnight at a gas station I have never attended.
It was at that moment that my body began to convulse and become highly strung out ...meanwhile the bank personal was wasting my valuable time chitchatting to me about items which at that moment in my life were so insignificant & made no sense at all. All I could think of while she was sharing her nonsensical mumbles with me was... why are you not blocking my card....why are you wasting my time and possibly my money on this? My fear was not her fear...that was obvious. Not only was I trapped in a world between this anonymous victimizer & myself....but I was also alone in my fear.
In this second my life changed...my identity had been stolen....my safety had become compromised. It took me into a tailspin of mass confusion and alarm so quickly that I could not even think straight.
Let me tell you.. it is pure traumatic hell! I have been the victim of a violation. My wallet was taken from me by a very cunning and smart victimizer.
Picture this...I am in the grocery store shopping like anyone else. My bag is over my shoulder...it is not in my cart as the Police Officer surmised...it is not left carelessly left open as the Police Officer surmised...it was safely tucked under my arm and very much close to my side. It was not an easy mark as the Police Officer once again surmised. The Police Officer asked me several times...did I notice or do I remember anyone bumping into me event he slightest bit. Could I answer?...no way. For the life of me I could not recall if a person slightly bumped into me or even brushed by me. All I know for sure is that I am terrified every time a car drives up to the house....I know for sure that I cannot shake this feeling of being watched or not. I also know that I am now a victim of circumstance and it is very frightening. These things I do know for sure.
It seems that this is a new occupation for some...staking out women in grocery stores, preferably with children as they tend to be the most distracted victims of prey.
This victimizer has all of my identification and also my home address. He, in a sense has me exactly where any victim finds themselves once they have been assaulted or victimized.
I feel very naked and very vulnerable right now. I feel sick to my stomach and it is taking all of my self-discipline to maintain my composure and take the proper steps in which are needed in contacting and applying for renewals of credit cards, bank cards, insurance cards, my social security card and worse yet my citizenship card.
Do you know how hard it is to breathe over and over again while trying to contact a real person in order to organize all of this? You cannot get a social security card renewal without a driver license...vice verse....you cannot get any of those without your citizenship card which takes $280.00...a trip to another state to get new fingerprints and only when you receive their appointment letter can you begin this .
So tell me...have you ever felt violated?
If you ever have... I feel for you because as strong as I am as a person...this violation has torn me apart without any warning. It is not easily explained. It is not easily seen and it most certainly is not easy to overcome.
My reasons for sharing this with you are somewhat cathartic and also in hopes that you will all become so much more aware of your surroundings no matter where you are.
These victimizers are out there and they are waiting for you....so please be very cautious and be very aware!
I refuse to allow myself to become my own victimizer,
therefore I will stand tall and move forward!
.....Reply to all ....
Thank you all so much for your care and concern. I have thus far made all of the appropriate moves toward re-applying for all of my identification. It is now a time game and that in itself is damn frustrating. I appreciate more than you can know the strength that I have felt through all of your words. As I would advise anyone with this situation...moving forward is the only way to get past this storm!
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