Abuse has absolutely no limitations...it knows no color, gender or age. It is one of the most shaming, scarring and traumatic experiences a human mind will ever have to deal with.
Abuse is one of those words that society will never fail to turn into shame...it is why I name it a ' HUSH WORD'.
It is what most people that are victims work very hard at hiding because of many reasons, shame being one.
Victims will go to any length to hide their abuse, not so much to protect their abuser, more so to protect themselves. Also the realization that they are in fact in an abusive relationship and will be forced to deal with it.
In many cases the victims are already grown up when they finally begin to identify with past abuses they have experienced in life...it is only then that they are able to find the strength to call upon the demon that has been haunting them for years. Or they find themselves in one abusive relationship after another...never quite understanding what they keep doing repeatedly wrong. It is through human action that can either create a stronger us or a weaker us.
Ask yourself these questions...answer them honestly.
What is abuse to you?
Have you given up your friends and your family?
Do you accept blame continuously?
Do you ignore name calling?
Have you forgiven him for more than one beating?
Do you fear your partner?
Do you stop breathing when he gets angry?
Are you a different person when he is around?
Do you feel trapped financially?
Do you fear for your children?
Were you abused as a child?
Are you still being abused by that person?
Do you lie to protect your abuser?
Do you lie to protect your own reality?
Do you constantly find reason to fault yourself for the abuse you have endured or still are enduring?
Do you know that there is help and hope for you?
Is being happy not a good feeling?
Bringing your fears to the forefront is a first step to many things to make a stronger, happier and more peaceful you.
If you choose to ignore the fact that you are being abused, either verbally, mentally or physically...you have only yourself to blame and you are in fact enabling the abuse to continue.
I have met so many women through my site and other sites and they are all victims of some type of abuse. I have not even touched the many ways people are abused in the world.
Control is the basis of abuse. Fear is the weapon used. So many women have deal with it in either their life as a child, their relationships or their work place. That is when their self-esteem gets totally put to the test. If one does not have a strong self-esteem they will allow others to control them.
Why, we ask do they do that? Well I believe it is so much easier for some women to allow it then to fight it. It becomes what they know or if they have already been abused, it is all they know. It is also a form of security for them. They can depend on that control to guide them otherwise they would have to be their own controller.
Life can be very scary when you have no confidence, you are made to feel and believe that you would never make it without them and/or then we have the fear factor. The type of fear that goes straight to the pit of your stomach.The fear that makes your hair stand up and your entire being freeze. Also the type of fear that disables any type of rational or intelligent thoughts.
As in any form of abuse, people have a hard time identifying with the fact that they are victims of abuse. It is or it becomes a way of life that until they really notice that it is NOT a way of life, do they start to search for answers or help.
How do we tell people that they are being abused?.. well just do that, "tell them", but chances are great that they would deny it and you possibly would lose a friend. It is like any addiction or self-destruction, one must see it for themselves in order to change it.
Not to encouraging, is it? It most certainly is not, but that's why so many good doctors and therapists and just ordinary people like myself that genuinely care about others write books and blogs and spend many hours creating sites like, womensselfesteem.com. We do it because we know that just maybe someone out there will read our articles and will finally look at their life and do something to gain their respect back, before their self-esteem is so low down they can never possibly see getting it up again.
Abuse is an ugly word and I call it a HUSH WORD because no-one talks about it.
We need to bring all these words out in the open, there is so much help out here for you. And YES you can do it and YES you can live a good life without it. To beat any issue we fight inside ourselves or in our daily lives is a HUGE step to a better you, a stronger you, a much more beautiful you. When one is free they soar like a bird and nothing is more beautiful than a bird soaring through the sky feeling the wind in its wings, so people get free and soar as high as you can.
On that thought of beauty, I will leave you with your thoughts!
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