Relationship Information > Betrayed by Trust


You loved him with your entire being. You gave him your heart and soul.
He was the bright light of your day and the peaceful darkness of your night.
Every thought you possessed started and ended with him and your love for him.
Your trust in him was given without question.

You are then confronted with one of the worst breaches a heart can survive.
He gave his heart to another.
He cherished and shared private moments with another.
He left you with nothing but a broken heart.
Your love has been violated, leaving you feeling betrayed by your own trust.

But then....
He wants you back.
He cannot live without you.
He has crawled back to you, begging for forgiveness.
Begging for your heart to be returned.
Begging for your trust once again.

*******************************************************


Does he not know what he has done to you through his choice of actions?
How does one forgive?
How does one forget?
Most of all ...how does one trust again after such a betrayal?

Betrayal has a way of stealing your smiles and laughter.
It will leave you feeling that it was your trust that put you in this position.
Another very self destructing emotion that betrayal will cause is self-blame.
It has a way of turning your love into pure hate.
It will make you feel like you have no place to run and hide.
It will make you want to go to sleep and never wake up.
Betrayal takes any faith in life that you had and crushes it into pieces of ash that will eventually blow away.
It is a very silent and destructive emotion. To feel betrayed is unlike anything you could ever imagine...the feeling of a betrayal is for many inconceivable until it happens.
It will hit you with such a force that your mind will feel like it has been through a storm of shattered glass.
Betrayal is a form of abuse, one that is rarely spoken about, because once betrayal has stormed through a person’s life, it leaves nothing behind but a wilted, speechless form of a human being.
The victim is so overwhelmed with grief that they choose not to live or breathe ever again, thus leaving an empty silhouette in the place of what was once a full, loving and trusting soul. The result being, that there is no evidence or explanation of the abuse.

So now what?
Now he wants forgiveness and a return of what was once given freely and innocently.
Can and how does one overcome the trauma and the shock of being betrayed?
Yes, one can overcome and move past a betrayal.

There must first be a cleansing of ones mind.
Your mind must shed all of the hatred, the hurt, the shame, the self-blame even the feeling of a much needed revenge that was experienced from the betrayal.
Your cleansing will be as traumatic as the betrayal in many ways. It may even alter the final outcome of your decision in the end. Either way it is the key to your being able to move forward in your heart and mind.
He needs to know that what his betrayal has done to your ability to trust and love him.
You need to know and accept that you were not responsible for his actions. His actions had nothing to do with who you are.
He also needs to understand that his patience will be in demand.
Your ability to overcome the betrayal and to find trust again will depend on your cleansing.

Then you must commit to starting a new chapter in your relationship.
You must close the the old chapter and move forward.
The words from the old chapter cannot ever be rewritten in any form. In saying that, there can be no repeating of betrayal by him or any words of his betrayal by you.
Rehashing anything from the old chapter is and will be destructive to your present relationship.
It happened...you chose to forgive him..it is over.
That battle cannot and should not ever be fought again.

This is where his desire to earn your trust will be vital.
He will need to secure a foundation so you can begin to rebuild your trust in him.
You must also realize that in your choice of forgiveness, you must commit to letting go.

Through each day, new memories will have to be made and this will take time, but your love and your trust are so worth it.

This is a very important fact..if you cannot forgive him then you had better forget him!

Relationships are built with a continuous effort by both partners towards a positive and healthy life together.

 

 ~D~

 

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