Relationship Information > Men and Women COLLIDE!



 

In relationships we tend to have collisions more often than we want. This is mostly true in the way we differ in our individual thoughts. We collide in how we perceive each others actions and reactions. We also have the task of accepting and/or dealing deal with our different gender views and beliefs. For that we can thank Mother Nature!

 

Men and Women can collide in just about anything that is involved in their relationship such as: what they enjoy in the entertainment department, sexual fantasies, favorite restaurants, spending money, child rearing, vehicles, time out with friends,and even how we brush our teeth. In saying all of that, differences are not a bad thing as it does add some color and  spontaneity in what could become a sedate relationship.

Can you imagine going on through life with a partner and never, ever bumping heads? (zzzzzzz)

Yup, boring! It would be like two mindless, passionless, dependant, robots, maintaining there actions on the same monotone level day after day after day. No cuddling, no smiling, no laughter. Ugh and the  SEX......I mean, can you imagine two robots having sex.

Again I say, "BORING" 

We  need  to spice things up, to know that we are alive and that our partners are also alive. When we have these so called collisions, it awakens our deepest passions which we both need to feel, in order to go into a deeper love for one another.

 

I know you are thinking that to collide only causes war and indifference. You are mostly correct, but how can we know peace with out war? How can we revive or continue to gain in our passions without a true honest  indifference between each other now and then? We cannot. Just think about how much fun making up is...everytime. Think about it. Keep in mind....the bottom line as in anything I share with you about men and women, we must have balance.

 

In any relationship it seems the simple things are what cause the most friction, and yet are never really 'the cause'  behind the aggravation . Some of us  tend to put things that bother us to the side for whatever reason, or we just plain do not want the other person to know that we are human, with feelings and that maybe we don't like some of the things that they do or say. When we do this enough times we begin to stack all of these worries on a shelf in the back of our minds. Some of us stack a whole lot of disappointments and worries on that shelf until it gets so overloaded that one day it all come crashing down...hence an emotional relationship breakdown occurs.

Now, both partners are involved in the offense/defense positions of the blame game. Have you ever noticed just how much gets heard in these games? Funny thing is, only the hurt words and accusations seem to stand above any real intelligence or rationality when this occurs.

The more weight we carry the heavier the burden, and the more pain we suppress, the harder we strike back, causing irrational behavior to say the least.

On the other hand, there are some people that do deal with concerns right off, so there is no time for these issues to get out of hand or extremely one-sided as they fester in ones mind. To have a healthy and mature relationship this is probably the way to be. There may be some heated discussions depending on the issue or if it is a reoccurring issue, but at least it has not been allowed to get to the point where it has pushed either partner to a point of needing anger management.

 

I know, that is not an easy task to deal with things right away. As humans we tend to keep ammunition for our survival. Who likes to eat food that's has already been chewed up?

NO-ONE!

So then imagine bringing up old history as having to re-chew food. I am trying to make it sound that simple. Sometimes when we think simply about things, they are easier to forget.

 

Relationships are notorious for emotional battles because they involve heartstrings. Who knows the opponent better than the partner?

We know each others weak points and which buttons to push to get them hurting. Both have a very huge investment in the relationship and  do not take anything that threatens it lightly as we should not. This is another big reason we tend to run into these collisions. Neither partner is perfect nor without bad habits or careless gestures. That is why we should always make a point of at least taking part of the blame when we do end up on that relationship battleground.

We are after all, in a partnership and we are in it 50/50.

No one person can battle alone. How often do you stand in the mirror and argue with yourself? Not too often, I would think. As the old saying goes, 'It takes two to make it and mainly to to break it'.

 

For the love and passion to grow in our relationship and to continue to grow, we do need to have differences and challenging debates. This type of communication brings us closer together as it is offers a certain type of cleansing. Think about it as a spring cleaning for the most unorganized closet in the house.

Our feelings of being accepted for who we are, even with our differences, are what strengthen and nurture our self esteem, which allows us love our partners with a deeper passion.  Relationships are all about the up's and down's of each persons life. How we deal with them, support and accept them is what makes those collisions all that much easier to get through.

It is perfectly OK to take a time out in your own space after one of those very strenuous battles. Each partner should most definitely take this time out as it is much needed to re-group and let your guard down in order to let in the new passion that awaits us.

Once you feel your feet are back on the ground and you can sense your partner is at the same level, then bring on the hugz!  Then it is make up time and you know what that means. MHM....SEX...SEX...SEX!

Now this does not mean that you have to hit the battle ground just to have good sex. JEESH not at all!

It is just that there are different hormones after a couple collides that gets ones blood rushing. Also it really helps to forgive so that all can be forgotten  and we can move forward.

 

Relationships are very important to each of us, so do not forget why you committed to your partner. Remember, they too are investing their life to make a life with you. There is no upper hand in a relationship. It is a partnership of equal love and respect. Both parties have the right to expect those two things. We are human and we do error. It is very important to let each other express our differences and accept them to a point. Through every COLLIDE we grow closer together even when we feel like our world has just turned upside down. TRUE LOVE never dies.

 

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Dorothy Lafrinere

 

 

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