You can choose to be jealous or you can choose to trust!

Have you ever had to battle thoughts in your mind that were two sided?   One saying, I know he is looking at her and the other saying, I know  he is lusting for her!

Those thoughts are not wrong. What's wrong is which thought you CHOOSE to dwell on. If you choose to dwell on, "he is looking at her", then that is a simple observation. If you choose to dwell on, "he is lusting for her", then you have already started a negative process. This process will tear down your thoughts only to rebuild them to suit your lower self-esteem side which we call jealousy.

Jealously or Trust...You Choose!

Remember this thought? "I know he wishes that I looked more like her" ?

Again a very negative thought process just waiting to eat your insides up in a heartbeat. A positive thought would be, "What a beautiful girl". To think that is simply a realistic thought. Beauty is beauty. A beautiful horse certainly will get much more attention than a horse that is malnourished and not well tended to.

I know that you are thinking that it is a very poor analogy, but that's exactly how silly your negative thought is! You put way too many assumptions into what his thoughts may or may not be. You do this because you feel that you do not equal up to others that are more outwardly beautiful around you. You would be a fool to think that you look the same in an outward appearance as someone else. You also tend to blame your partner because there are younger, more beautiful women in the world. That is just silly. Again I use the word silly. Hmmm.

Jealousy or Trust...You Choose!

Is it because your low self-esteem is forcing you to measure yourself in every aspect of life? 

Is it because you fear losing your relationship?

Is it because you want to be his everything?

Is it because every time you are faced with a challenge of another women, you instantly fail in YOUR mind?

Do you feel that you have to compete with these other females?

When a female crosses your path, do you instantly look for a flaw to make you feel less threatened by her existence?

If your partner even so much as mentions another female in any way positive, do you automatically feel threatened or attacked?

Do you avoid going out on social events because of the fears that have already begun to seed deep inside your stomach?

Do you feel that life would be so much more easier if you never had to feel threatened by anyone?

Are you afraid to trust?

Are you afraid that your trust will be used and taken advantage of?

Are you afraid that your partner might wake up one day and wish he was not with you?

Do you fear getting old and losing your youthful appearance?

Last but not least:

Do you just not like who you are?

Jealousy or trust...You Choose!

Girl, if you have spent any amount of time in any of these horrible traps, then you already know it is never going to change. You can stay in there until you die. The world is going to go around whether you choose to trust or not.

I can also guarantee that if you are allowing those negative thoughts to take even a second of your relationship time that you have already begun your loss.

Isn't it weird, how on one hand you think that you are protecting something that means everything to you, but on the other hand, your life is so unhappy and stressful.

Have you ever thought that just maybe everything in life is going to happen no matter what your mind thinks, or prefers?

You can only really control your thoughts. You cannot control your partner's thoughts. So the sooner you realize this, the less time you will want to spend worrying about his thoughts. He is not with you for just one reason. He is with you because you fit him. OK, so maybe you are not on the top 10 for beauty, but you are definitely there for whatever makes him tick.

Life is full of choices. When you are given choices, that's a very good thing. You do NOT have to bow down to negative thoughts. You can choose to think positive. Then and only then can you smile and enjoy the life that you were given. It is not easy to think away from the negative thoughts. Your low self-esteem is working over time in order to corrupt your mind. It takes a lot of consistent thought processing to win the battle of jealousy vs. trust.

I do believe that it's your choice that is the key here. You can choose whether you want steak or crackers for dinner. OK, so then why is it that you choose to be jealous instead of to trust. Again a silly analogy to show you just how silly your life is when you allow your thoughts to be jealous instead of to trust. Your habits to be jealous will only hurt you and waste your time. Time is of the essence. Time that once is passed, is gone forever. Do you want to only have sad stories to remember your life with? Or do you not want to have fun and enjoy being you?

Jealousy or trust..You choose!

To be able to trust and to not be jealous, you must learn to LIVE!

  You must learn to love you.

  You must learn to find happiness.

  You must learn to not dwell on negative thoughts.

  You must smile and carry on with your positive thoughts.

  You must stop worrying about things that will happen if they are destined to happen.

  You must stop thinking that your partner is disrespecting you.

  You must just stop fighting life so hard.

  You must start to really be thankful for what you have.

  You must stop feeling that life is a competition.

  You must live like you want to live.

  You must tell yourself everyday that you are UNIQUE!

  You must respect your choices enough to always choose positive thoughts.

If your partner is outwardly disrespecting you, then he is the one that has an issue. 

Life is not always going to offer you a bed of roses. We only wish it would. With our ability to choose positive thinking we can control a lot of the happiness in our own minds. Trust in your partner. Believe me, if he did not want to be with you, he would not. If he happens to see a stunning site, smile and agree that it is a stunning site and carry on with your day.

No one is trying to erase you from his mind. There is no connection between you and what might cross his path. You are his choice. He chose you. Now you see, he made a positive choice and he is happy. Show him the same respect and choose to trust him and choose to not allow your mind to get trapped on a negative roller coaster. You must also live for the day, enjoy this day and make positive use of every second.

Jealousy is a very bad thought process, one that will surely damage your relationship, not to mention enslave you in a 24 hour pit of torture. You know this. You also know that allowing jealousy to control you does not make it go away. Jealousy will only go away if you stop it from coming inside your mind. The choice is yours. It is up to YOU and only YOU to enjoy life. Your life is what you make it.

Jealousy or trust..It`s Your Choice!

-Dorothy

Comment:

I found it to be very insightful. Not only was it written from a woman's perspective but the underlying theme made sense and really hit home. Knowing that I have a choice in what I choose is very empowering. Thank you!
Naomi

http://www.womensselfesteem.com

Leave a Comment in reference to Jealousy or Trust... You Choose!

<<<Return to the Main Relationship Information Page