I am 5'2'', petit, attractive, and an independent woman, who have been in a committed relationship for over two years now. My boyfriend and I dated for 7 months before we made it official, and have talked about future plans, i.e. wedding, family, etc. Since we first started there this feeling of insecurity and jealous towards him, even though, he made it clear to me that he has other female friends, and see other people until he is ready to commit to one. I agree with it, but on the other hand, I felt very insecure and unable to trust him. Although, I continued to hang out with him, which then our feelings developed, despite of whether he can be trusted or not. During the dating scene, I found movie tickets that we didn't' see together, he continues to chat online, and text messages (I am not sure to whom); lastly, he has wandering eyes tendencies. I discussed the uneasy feelings with him in a calm and mature way, and then promised that he'll stop. Months after we made it official, he continues with his habits. (I sort of called them habits or addiction) Moreover, I found collection - pictures of women- some were ex; naked pics; and pics of behinds (butts) from the office, in public or in the club. (sounds sickening huh...) He claims that it does not mean anything to him and some of those were collected since he was single, but they were pics taken after we got together. Ok, he said, he'll stop and I believed him. Then there's recent incident about him communicating via text messages with his so called realtor, a business acquaintance that became more. I was hurt after finding out the romantic gestures back and forth between the two. He said that it didn't mean anything; it was just playing games to him. Because of these, I became compulsive of my actions, now I go though his personal things (cell phone, emails, and online memberships like hi5 or myspace), asked him 21 questions where he's going, who's he's meeting, etc. Lately, he placed pass code for his cell phone and blocked other viewers from seeing his on line profile, which leads me to believe that he, is hiding something. Before I neglected to say this, he has performance issue. He often times does not have the desire to be intimate, that leads me to accuse him of not wanting to be with me and may not be as physically attractive to me as I am to him.
Nonetheless, I haven't physically, found him cheating on me. He is home with me 24/7, very seldom hangs out with the boys, however, are these enough for me to explode and time after time get emotionally hurt. I am preventing something worse from happening. The sad part is I don't think he will ever let go of the above mentioned or his ways, that makes it very difficult to trust him. On the other hand, I maybe wrong, I may be the one need to accept his actions and not to jump on conclusions, immediately.
With all of this, I am deeply in love with him. We get along great, until I start to have jealous rage towards him. Please help, I want and need our relationship to work more than ever.
Anonymous, Jealous Rage
COMMENT: I agree with you and understand why you are this way. Maybe if you didn't see those things, read, or witness such things, you wouldnt feel insecure. Well.. I think you have every right to. When you talk to your boyfriend, what does he say? and does he seem committed to you? have you asked him why he does them? Well, im not really an expert, but try to find out more as you can, even though you may get hurt, but if you find out things that are unwanted and not true the relationship, than try to do something about it. I am not saying to break up with him or anything, but maybe just do something. Well.. if you have anything else you would like to share, than you can just chat with me or post back o this comment. :D thank you.
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