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Abuse / Survival Stories > Me, Myself and I..




 Now I am 52 years old and have many stories to tell. I am a young 52 and feel like I am still 29. That is probably what age my self esteem had stopped at. And now I have to build it up again. For I am WOMAN..hear me roar.

My thoughts flew through my head. I was put in a mental hospital in 1975 and ever since then I only remember a little bit about myself and my self esteem. There were lots of games in my head and outside my true life. I never thought about self esteem as much as I thought about survival.

My mind does have a life of its own it seems. It has been on medication all of what seems to be my adult life. Only recently (with in the past 2 years) have I had my medications changed (what a wonderful world where psychiatrist do learn something), and only in the last years that I have started to consider myself as a women; and not only a women but a woman with virtues and strong feelings, and strong thoughts to share..and a story to share.

With the medications change came a slow personal change. I looked in the mirror and I didn't see myself. I still don't see myself. I see a person who has been on drugs (they call it meds) and booze (what they don't know) for most of my adult life, and a woman with secrets. When my medications changed, I was able to give up the booze. It has only been lately that I have been searching for my "true" self. I cannot think of what I could have done differently.

I now have a label and what is called an illness. I am bi-polar. I am still on medications, but now I have hope. Many of my issues have been addressed by Dorothy and the women's selfesteem site. When I stopped drinking alcoholic beverages (booze), it helped a lot. I though I was giving up my secrets, but I find I must keep some of my secrets the way people think of Santa Clause. He was such a nice person...what a jolly old fellow. Then the secret came out .. there was no Santa Clause, but there was someone always whispering... "yes Virginia there is a Santa Clause."
Even some people don't believe in God. That's ok.. but I need God in my life. 
  More stories to come from me...Peggy

I am twenty years old living with my parents. I am always inspired when I hear of people triumphing over the very difficult problems with mental illness. Two years ago I was diagnosed with type two bipolar disorder. I believe we are given obstacle in this life for a reason and it is all up to us to either fall down that mountain or get over it and become better for it. I think it is very important to all the people living with any mental or emotional disorder to know that they are not alone with it and that there is always hope and guidance from God grow from it. Posted by Elizabeth

Thank you, that was a nice comment. It had me look back to see what the article was about. It was not easy to read the article. It was a confusing article, by a confused person, me. This is Peggy and I want you all to know that as my self esteem has grown, and so have I. I am bi-polar 1 and taking 5 different medications for it now. Self esteem is very important. Learning it and sharing feelings with Dorothy and all of the gals has helped me. I feel that I am growing "up" everyday, and that I am a good woman. It feels good to feel good about being me, myself and I. Posted by Peggy.

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