My grandfather ripped my innocence away at the age of 11. He sexually abused his was through 2 generations of females in our family. Growing up I had a twin sister, a brother 18 months older and a stepsister about 3 years older, all of lived together from the time I was about 10-11. I would like to say me and my father have a great relationship now, even though he mentally and physically abused me, my twin , and my brother. HE never spoke bad or anything of my stepsister. After all she was the straight A, captain of the volley ball team at high school. Growing up in our house was often hard for my sister,brother and I. If my step sister pissed my dad off he would take it out on us 3. But I don't hate my dad for it. He is a different man now. I tell you all this so you get a understanding of how bad it hurt when my grandfather molested me. You see my grandma died when I was 9. Going to my grandpas house was like a sanctuary. Peace from the hitting and extreme name calling from my father. At home my dad wasn't happy with the fact I was 5 or so lbs heavier then my twin. I had to do rigorous excerise every night. No one but me. I had to answer to the name porky for the longest time.(I am now 5ft tall and 128lbs). Well like I was saying my grandpas house was like a sanctuary. Somewhere I could go and not feel fat, or ashamed. My older male cousin lived with my grandfather all his life, his sister and mom lived else where and had eventually moved out of state leaving him behind.This is my Mothers dad.You see my real mom has been in and out of institutions my whole life. She was never really around till my late teens. Well I looked forward to the weekends I got to spend the night at grandpas. Then that fateful day came. The day that would change me forever. I called my grandpas excited asking if me and Dina(my twin) could spend the night. He said that Ben (my cousin) was on a camping trip with the boy scouts that weekend, but we didn't care. I didn't care..I just wanted away from the hell of my house for a couple days. I was 11. I should have stayed home. I tell myself that sometimes I wonder if Lovell(my grandfather) was warning me in a way by telling me. I'll never know. Well we went to his house. From an early age my favorite place to be was sitting on my grandpas lap watching TV. So it wasn't anything unusual when he said to come sit on his lap to watch TV.I can't remember honestly where my sister was at the time. She might have been outside. She was the only female in our family(moms side) who wasn't abused by that pervert. It's very hard to write this I've never told the whole story not even to my therapists. But I sat on grandpas lap like every other time. Then I felt his hand go down the front of my pants, rubbing on the outside of my privates. I became extremely uncomfortable but sat there and let him do his thing. After a couple minutes I couldn't take it no more. He was rubbing my private area and my breast(or lack there of at the time). I made a excuse and jumped up saying I had to go to the bathroom. I avoided sitting on his lap the rest of the night, thinking it would save me. I WAS WRONG!! My sister slept in my cousins room that night,and my grandpa told me he would sleep on the recliner in the living room and I could sleep in his bed. I was 11, I didn't know I was being set up. I went to bed in nothing but a night shirt and panties like always. Then I felt the heaviness of him climbing into the bed.He spooned behind me and started kissing the back of my neck and rubbing his hands all over me.I could feel his erection against me and closed my eyes and waited till he was done. After a Little while he calmly got up and went to the bathroom(I assume to jerk off). I couldn't believe my grandfather had done that to me. THE ONE PLACE I FELT SAFE, he stole away from me. I avoided going to my grandpas house after that. I told my stepsister a year after it happened and after I couldn't take the nightmares anymore. My parents tried to press charges but nothing happened. I later down the road found out that not only had he molested me, but he also molested my cousin(the one that moved away with her mom)as well as he sexually abused my real mom and aunt all their lives. WHY< WHY WHY..why would my aunt or real mom allow my cousin or any of us around that man after what he did to them? I will never know. Talking to my cousin "L" she told after she told my aunt the first words out of my aunts mouth was, "I didn't think he'd do it to you". My cousin told me those words haunt her to this day. My grandfather still has not paid for what he did to 2 generations of women in our family. He lives a normal life and has remarried. I am strong now and gained the courage to write his perverted ass a letter. It was 3 pages long explaining what he did to me and other females in our family and how it ALMOST destroyed my life. I enclosed it in 2 separate envelopes with out a return address and mailed a copy addressed to him and his new wife. Warning her to keep any female grandkids away from him.I mailed it to his house 3 days in a row. To make sure it got to him. "L" still goes around him, she says she just wants to make sure she is in the will when the bastard dies. She feels he owes her for what he did. I could care less about any money. My dignity and self worth is worth more then a inheritance. I will not let him bring me to that level over money. I am strong and have 2 beautiful kids. One son and one daughter. We live with my wonderful girlfriend of 3 years. I am very overprotective of my daughter and rarely allow her around males I do not know or trust.My father and I have a wonderful relationship and I don't have any hard feelings for the psychical or mental abuse he made us endure. He has shown his difference with how he is with my kids. He is a different man.A better man. My grandfather I am just waiting for him to DIE. God will punish him, even if the judicial system let me down. The lord will be waiting.


Well that is my story. Thank you for reading and I hope it brought courage to others that something like this will NOT defy you. You can over come it.
always!

*Gee