We all know that relationships can be quite challenging as they do not come without their ups and downs.
What is important in having a healthy and enjoyable relationship is that the ups out number the downs.
In dealing with same gender or opposite gender relationships, each person experiences changes daily due to the challenges of life. In short nothing or no one ever stays exactly the same.
In a relationship it is vital to change together...and stay on the same course directed toward the same goals.
Men and women were both gifted with distinct personality differences for a reason. The reason being they fit together like a puzzle when the right pieces are used in the right spots. For some reason men and women seem to constantly want to re-cut those pieces and try and fit them somewhere else instead of just accepting what is. This is where we run into so many issues, such as... women wanting men to think like women, men wanting women to think like men....ect.
The main key to any successful relationship is simple. It is called 'acceptance'. We must learn to accept rather than expect.
Being female and writing from thoughts that derive from a female mind, I know it seems that I am always picking on the guys or favoring the girls. Not so....in fact I am indirectly trying to get both genders to see the big picture. It is when we are all tangled up in the emotions due to matters of the heart...that the picture tends to get pretty small and our vision can become a bit narrow...very narrow in some cases.
Both genders do have their quirks...that is what makes us unique and individual. Without those gender differences we would not be attracted to each other. We simply would not fit!
Lets take a look at some of the quirks that can so drive a partner around the bend.........I am leaving out the toilet seat battle as that seems to be a given :)
Hormones...our worst beast of burden. They tend to turn us into this twisted totally hyper sensitive creature. Guys we know this...we are inside of this creature watching from the inside....waving both arms trying to let you know that we being held prisoner inside of this hormonal beast. We do understand how difficult we can be at these quirky times and if we could eliminate it...we would be first in line.
Women...love to compare themselves with other women. We cannot help it. We are the more stylish prone gender. The trick is to do the
comparing through positive lenses. Once you use negative lenses...there is another monster inside of us just waiting to attack the first person in sight which is usually the guys.
Women...some have this weird Bathroom hand towel fetish...you know the one where....you can look at them but do not dare use them :)
Women...love the frills and the decorations in life. It was once said that if it were not for females, there would be no market in real state because men could care a less what they live in.
Women...love to play mind games...it is the nature of our beast...we are complex and very cunning thinkers. We want to be courted and only by our rules. Men tend to be very leery of us because we are so unpredictable in our thoughts and behaviors. Also being of the weaker sex, some of us tend to use that as a tool when we play the games.
Women...we are definitely emotionally connected to our orgasms. We are emotional creatures that seek out comfort and understanding. We can be either very inhibited or very free when being sexually involved depending on our mind and bodies emotional connection.
In saying that...guys...we do not want to have sex right after a fight...we want to be pampered and we want to feel loved again.
Women...so need more time to warm up than guys do when when making love. Our bodies must be warmed up from head to toe.
We do like being touched, slowly, passionately, oh and guys...important tip here...we do have more than one spot to rub :) If a guy can be patient with us and take it slow...he will be well rewarded.
Keep in mind I was referring to making love, not just a quick sexual encounter. In most of those cases both partners are aware that there is no time for foreplay or the foreplay has already happened thus the choice of sex in the closet..so to speak!
Women...always seem to ask those loaded questions such as: are my boobs big enough for you..do I look fat in these pants ect ????
Yes guys we know these questions drive you again around the bend, but for some reason we still ask. It is as if we don't care if you have to lie...just make us feel better because if we are asking this question we have already decided that we feel fat or our boobs are too small. We are seeking your support. Some lies are worth it.
Women... love to talk and talk we do. We are all about details and technicalities. It is because we have complex minds and we are very much innate socializing creatures.
Women... tend to adapt to change much easier...I feel it is due to our ability to give birth. It is part of our nature to be able to grow with our children as they change from day to day.
I am sure I have missed many attributes that the female gender has to offer...if so..please feel free to comment and add to my list!
Now for men...again this list is coming from a female mind...I will try to be as diplomatic as possible.
Men...are testosterone driven....that is a fact that we read and witness daily. In stating that...men are notoriously visually driven. On the same note...men love to have sex after a fight...it is their built in remedy...it somehow puts closure on things and/or it is his way of putting things back in order so to speak.
Men...love their toys as much as we love our frills.
Men...being the masculine fixers that they are..are always trying to fix things and when it comes to dealing with the matters of the heart or women in general..we do not need you to fix it....just listen and understand that whatever it is we are trying to tell you, is very real and important to us. In short please do not invalidate our fears and worries.
Men...are so of the, use it and leave it mentality when it comes to housekeeping. Or the first object they bump into seems to look like a place to hang their hat or coat. I have even witnessed some guys walk right past the closet just to hang their jacket on a chair.
Men...never quite understand that we...the woman..your partner in life, are not your guy buddy...we really do not want to analyze
other women with you nor do we want to see naked women on television any more than you want to see a naked guy swinging freely every time you sit down to watch the tube. So please do cut us some slack dude!
Men...love their comfort zone or a certain amount of predictability in their life...if they could do the same routine every day and never have to worry about it changing....life would be good.
Men...love to feel needed...or depended on to a certain degree. The he-man blood in him innately desires to protect his mate as women have the innate need to protect her babies.
Men...do not like to be pitied....they do not like to be confused or smothered with what they deem as nonsensical words or feelings.
Men...like to be cave dwellers....they are not quite the social butterflies as women are. Their need to recoup in a quiet space is how they like to cope and deal with their inner disturbances.
Men...have an animal instinct to hunt...they are not fond of playing the courting game as they know what they want and they go for it. The fewer words that have to be said the better...because they know well in advance that a women wins the word game just about every time.
Men...want to be treated as men...not as a child They do not want to be treated as though they are inferior to their partner or to the guy next door.
Men...are not fond of the term, 'I am sorry'...it is one of those double edged swords they fear with women, as once they say it..they admit to doing the deed...they then have to in some fashion make amends and accept the blame. Where as women use that term more lightly as admission of caring and concern for his feelings.
Men...do not do well with being told what to do or having advice shoved down their throats...they are of the nature that advice should be given on request only terms. It is how they respect one another not realizing that women give advice out of courtesy in most cases.
Men...do not want to be molded or changed. This is a true sign of acceptance and support in who he is. He will run fast and furious if he even senses the least little bit of control from his mate coming with that intent. The only place that most men want to be controlled is in the bedroom!
So there you have my thoughts gender differences. Yes, some of these ideas can swing into both genders...this I know. I have simply shared a few light hearted generalizations as I have witnessed them.
As I have mentioned above...please feel free to add your thoughts of pros and cons to my list.
One last thought to ponder...
....men and women were designed to compliment each other and to fulfill each others needs!