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Relationship Information > The UGLY Return of Jealousy and Low Self-esteem

The UGLY Return of Jealousy and Low Self-esteem




Jealousy and ones feelings of low self-esteem seems to have become a widespread issue for so many women these days. It is not that women are just beginning to suffer from these horrible confining emotions, it is more that women are finally seeking ways to overcome them.

But overcoming them is just the first step, then we must learn to stay the course and be ready for their ugly return, because they will return. It is like any negative trauma that our minds experience. The memory of the trauma never goes away, it is that we learn to put it in a safe place. If we allow this memory to gain strength and return, it will.

Jealousy and low self-esteem will attack ones mind to the point of damaging it in the same way a death of a loved one or a severe shock will. I kid you not there, if you have ever in your life felt any of these negative emotions, you will agree with that.

Jealousy and low self-esteem are very strong negative feelings and they will control your every breathe. Negative feelings that will scar your world and your memory.

They will confine you into a room with all the blinds pulled down and the doors locked.

They will not stop until your fears have you totally convinced that you have to lock your partner away so that none can threaten his thoughts.

They will play mind games with you which I refer to as,"Mind trickery" a few times in this article.

Mind Trickery is when your positive and negative thoughts battle to control your actions and reactions to certain situations.

Here is an example of mind trickery:
You will have days where you will feel that you have finally beat those weaknesses and negative feelings.
You will feel so proud of yourself.
You will feel like you can do this and that you have done it.
You will walk into the world with your self-esteem glowing and your medal of first place in the race against jealousy shining.
You will actually be happy for a change.
You will be so tricked into thinking that you have finally battled and beat the negative side of your mind that you will drop your defenses and literally walk naked.
Then it will happen, mind trickery at it's best.
The negative feelings will attack.
They will attack when you least expect it.
This is what mind trickery is about.
Jealousy and low self-esteem have won in the battle of mind trickery.
You under-estimated your own thoughts again.

So now what?
Do you allow them to once again traumatize your life and paralyze your happiness,
or do you fight harder than you have ever fought before to keep them where they are secured?
Then even when you may have succeeded in that, you will be faced with your own feelings of disappointment in allowing your mind to fall victim to the destruction of negative feelings. Again you will need strength to over come those self destructing feelings of negativism.
Here is a scenario to show you how the return of those negative feelings work. It is again up to you to not allow them to win their attempts to return.

You have just walked into a restaurant with your partner feeling on top of the game. It's been so long since your negative feelings have taken you down that you have totally left your guard down and open for attack.
You spot the threat, you immediately feel a shot go directly through your stomach.
You feel yourself losing the ability to maintain a steady breathe.
Your strength is weakening so fast that you feel the return of the old familiar panic.
You immediately want to retaliate as you have done so many times in the past with snide remarks and confrontation, but you recognize that those reactions only made you weaker in the past so you fight them.
You take control of what little strength you have left and you scream out for any positive thought that you can find.
You feel it subside just a bit.
You don`t allow the negative feelings to override your positive thoughts.
You will not be able to completely escape the negative feelings.
You will definitely feel your self-esteem fall.
Those inner thoughts of how you are," not as pretty or good", as that of the threat you have just walked into, are back.
You are there, you have fallen, your body begins to shrink, you want to disappear from your partners eyes before he can pick up on those feelings, feelings that he will surely not be happy to see return.
Your mind is now in a full battle of negative against positive thoughts.
Your head feels like it is going to erupt.
Your body starts to tremble as you struggle to maintain even the smallest positive thought.
You will feel the need for some outside help from your partner, just one word, or one touch to support your importance to him.
You realize that this is yet another negative feeling trying to gain on your positive side.
For him to have to do that, will only make you weaken again the next time.
You must do this yourself.
All alone, you must fight this battle in your mind.
You must continue to fight for your positive thoughts to get stronger.
You begin to make silly conversation if you have to.
You even make a funny face in your mind to make yourself laugh.
You redirect your thoughts until you finally have found an opening for your positive thoughts to get in and take over.
You feel your body begin to calm, your breathing begins to steady and you feel total control over your negative thoughts.
You have won this battle of return.
You have taken control over the mind trickery and returned those negative feelings back to a safe place.
Now you have to deal with your own disappointment of thinking that you would never be back in that weak position again.
A position of feeling your self-esteem trampled on and the feelings of needing to hide from the world in order to protect yourself.

You can do this, it is natural to feel disappointment, even good to a certain degree. In feeling disappointment in yourself, it acknowledges that your awareness is stronger and your ability to battle," The UGLY Return of Jealousy and Low Self-esteem", is also stronger.
Negative thoughts are what will bring you down, and you will feel that you will never be able to get up again.
Fear not, your mind will defend itself to protect you and will help you find the positive thoughts that you need to maintain a happy balance of thinking. Just do not fall into the habit of the negative rut. The longer you allow the negative feelings to stay with you, the longer you will be in that rut.

Happiness is something you should fight for, it is the feeling that you want, it will also help strengthen your positive thoughts. So be happy!!!!

~Dorothy Lafrinere~






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Dorothy Lafrinere



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