Who Am I?
This is my story: I have been dealing with jealously for about 6 years and until now I went to this website and I would never believe that I had jealously issues. If someone threw that word at me, I would get very defensive and think no way is that me! I am looking at everything in a whole new light now.
When I was 15 I was molested by some stranger that I had gotten into a car with just to get a ride somewhere. Maybe that is source but there are so many possible sources there is to many to list here.
The point is, I have a current relationship with a man that I have loved for 3 years. He is the most perfect man I have ever met. There are so many problems in our relationship though it has gotten so bad to the point that every second my thoughts sound something like this anywhere we go; "Oh your checking out her ass!", "Oh my god you are so messed up to look at that girl right in front of me!"
And that's not even the half of it! Anywhere we are, even being at my house, I ALWAYS have some comment to say. If a girl comes on T.V. and I'm sitting there with my boyfriend, I will automatically imply that he is lusting after her, and she was only on T.V. for 2 seconds! Every thought of mine is that all men are pigs and they check out every woman that walks by. Even if I am by myself and I am watching TV I will be like oh she's not prettier than me her face is too ugly, or her butt isn't as nice as mine. It has gotten SO ridiculous that even when no one is around and I'm am lying in bed I will think about who I think my boyfriend looked at in Wal-Mart and think he disrespecting me.
It really is ruining my life. Jealously is taking over me like a virus and being at this website has helped, but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that I'm never going too get better and just start crying when I think about it. I hate my life and what it has become. I am only 19 and I feel so miserable everyday, all day. I want relief. I just want to be able and go to the mall and not care if my boyfriend notices some girl. I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK!! WHO AM I ANYMORE?
Leave a Comment in reference to the story Who Am I?
<<<Return to the Main Abuse and Survival Stories Page