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Jealousy Stories > Out of Control!




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Out of Control


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Out of Control!
I have come to the realization that my stress is coming from jealousy. I have always been a calm and mello person with a stress free life, until lately. 28years old 4 children and divorced twice I made it through all that pretty much stress free, a little rough spots here and there but nothing major until now.

A little history for your understanding would be beneficial to this story. Let's see i got married very young because my parents said it was the right thing to do at 19 the man I married was 11 years older then me. We had a daughter 11 months after we were married. He became a ragin physco and I had to get out before he hurt us, so i divorced him.

I later met a man that swooped me off my feet, a construction worker we had a daughter and later were married. 18 months after the birth of our first daughter we had a set of boy/girl twins. He was on the road a lot and I would see him every couple weeks until finely he moved me and the kids with him to where he was working. I sold my house and everything to be with him.

After he got me 10 hours away from my home town, he began cheating on me, alot. He would have women calling his phone all hours of the night. Not just one but like 7. I lived this life for over 6 years thinking that my husband would change and quit his messing around on the side. It never stopped he just got better at hiding it, and I would just get a little better at finding it. then I felt myself playing detective looking for him all the time, etc... trying to catch him in lies, it was like a sick game between us.

I felt very insecure about myself after this. i thought maybe it was because I had gained weight with the pregnancies. So I tried to lose weight. Didn't work. I thought okay I have never denied him benefits in bed. I had always made sure that he got what he wanted, never leaving him without. Knowmatter if i was tired, sick etc... That didn't work either.

Eventually i left him and moved home to my parents spare house. he came up a month later and begged me to take him back, I said I would try it from afar. but even 10 hours away I caught him cheating on me, so I gave it up and filed for divorce.

I didn't think that the jealousy would stay with me. Well guess what it has. i have now been in a new relationship with a beautiful person who is very loving and kind. he doesn't lie to me, believe me I have put that to the test, I have even found myself driving by where he said he would be just to make sure he wasn't lying. That is when I realized that the ex husband's actions still effect me now in a totally different relationship.

I know that I need help in getting over this. I feel it can and will ruin a good relationship. it is a rage, a fire inside you that is so very hard to put out. you feel so out of control!
Author- Kenna


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